One thing that has to be remembered about the gift of discernment is that you won’t always feel like it’s “turned on.” There are times when you won’t notice or feel anything at all which is when you have to be especially careful. Your shouldn’t let all of your focus be on what’s going on around you, almost as if you’re paranoid, but should be open to God’s revealing and not lose sight or trust in Him.
I often go back and forth in my head about the gift of discernment, wondering if I really was given that through the Holy Spirit or if I was just experiencing some much more evident warfare going on. In the past I have had it confirmed while praying about it but still ask “why me?” I feel there are much more deserving people out there that wouldn’t seem to fall so quickly or allow such fears to hinder them, but maybe that’s a part of the reason for it all. Maybe it’s God’s way of speaking to my heart so that I will continually grow in Him and seek His will for my life.
I can’t even express to you the amount of desire I have to help others going through demonic bondage. I feel there’s a part of me that has always had that desire, even before I knew anything about spiritual gifts. I would love to be able to go to others to help them, through prayer, realize what it is that is “haunting” them or causing them such grief. To help them into coming to the Lord and realizing just how Awesome He really is.
I would love to realize when the enemy is at work and help others understand the nature that they do their works in this world; for God to reveal what it is we’re up against and how important it is that we continually work on our relationship with Him, growing, learning to love others in such a worldly place, and seeking His guidance in everything.
I’ve met some people around me that seem to have a lot more going on than they’re likely to admit. I’ve met some that seem completely untrustworthy and feel I need to stay away from them, only to realize there is more going on in their lives than anyone might realize. That they are most likely being deceived in what they’re thinking or feeling is going on but don’t realize how dangerous some things can be. I’ve met those who are so blinded by the ways of this world they’re not even open to hear any aspects of God working in someone’s life. I’ve met some who have such hardened hearts that I don’t know if they’ll ever come around to what God has given us. It breaks my heart to witness these things and if there’s any way that God can use me to help those around me, I am completely willing to do so.
While reading about the fear of the LSM group taking over churches in India and deceiving those around them, someone wrote “It is something that concerns our spiritual life and we should not take it lightly.” That quote has stuck with me on and off since I’ve read it and it’s all too true. You don’t fully even know how easily your spiritual life can be effected by the things around you. How one little entrance of something ungodly or worldly can cause you to start to slip and not see what it is you’re supposed to be doing. That’s one of the import reasons we need to read our Bibles everyday and talk to the Lord every day, being open to His guidance.
I will admit that over the last week or so I felt as though I shouldn’t be writing anymore. That I was letting it distract me from what God wanted me to be working on and that I needed to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing. What if I AM doing what I’m supposed to be doing? This morning I had a strong sense of urgency to write, to communicate my thoughts on what has been going on with me, and now I realize that the enemy has once again been working on making me feel lost. Making me feel as though there’s all this important stuff I’m supposed to be working on but it’s all my fault that I don’t feel God is telling me what it is. The truth is that I might be doing just what I’m supposed to be doing. I need to remember that I need to keep up what I do and wait on the word of the Lord to tell me otherwise. I will no longer feel guilty for taking the time to write, especially since that is usually the way that I come to a lot of realizations about what God might be trying to tell me in the first place.
I’m sorry if what I write comes off as a little confusing at times, and honestly I don’t expect anyone to read it. I’ve told Brandon before that most of what I write might seem very personal for me and I’m not usually one to tell everyone every little thing I’m struggling with, but I feel there is an importance to let others know they’re not alone. There are others out there that go through difficult or strange things. And whether anyone reads it or not, at least I got to come to God given conclusions about matters at hand.