Random thoughts 0.1

I’ve found myself concerned over minute things today, especially concerning others. Actually, I’d have to say almost all of it was in regards to others. There were some times when I became irritable and kind of moody or tired, which I didn’t quite understand why; I wondered if it was because it’s “that time of the month” but it didn’t seem like the normal kind of feelings I might go through around that time.

I’ve been at Brandon’s house again today since this morning and I eventually took some time to drive out and get myself a drink from starbucks. I spent some time talking to God and started realizing how some of these things that others were arguing over or doing, trying to prove to the world that their opinion is the truth, doesn’t really matter in regards to me. Nor does it matter what other people are doing in regards to their relationship with God. He is already speaking to them and it’s not my job to make sure they’re staying on track, which is not to say I shouldn’t encourage them or try to help them become aware when they are becoming too distracted on one topic or another, as they have to do with me from time to time.

People can get so worked up about things of the world, even about what the Bible says or doesn’t say. The Apocrypha, for example: A lot of people argue that it should or shouldn’t belong in the Bible. This argument has gone back centuries upon centuries in regards to the Word of God. I even remember getting into arguments with a Catholic boy I dated when I was 16-years-old because it was included in his Bible but not mine. Of course I didn’t know much about it and can’t really say I know a ton about it to this day. I know the tons of arguments that people make in regards to it but I have never felt compelled to read it in my own personal life.
I have heard from multiple people who say the book of Enoch (a book in the Apocrypha) is one that explains or tells a lot more about the spiritual realm or spirits in general. But again, I have never felt a need to read this even through my own experiences with the spiritual realm. I am also very careful at what I read as I do not want to get caught up in the “he said she said” bias opinions of others based on their own experiences or experiences they’ve heard of.
Your life with God, through Christ, is a learning experience in itself. If you are not feeling compelled to study one thing over another in regards to what God might be trying to teach you, don’t bother doing it. You’re only going to get caught up in the examples others have given without truly knowing if they’re correct. Some of them might make sense and some might not. Some might seem to “work” and others wont. Do you really want to go down the path of trial an error, wasting time and effort, when you could go straight to the One who has created it all to begin with? I know I don’t.

That is not to say that I have not used other books to reference or help me understand things, but I have been completely particular and skeptical about them the entire way. I back up what they’re saying with what God tells me and not the other way around. It’s incredibly easy to back up what someone else might be saying as an interpretation of what the Bible says and get stuck in the wrong things. But it’s not always about what the Bible says about these matters but what God tells you about them. If you’re reading something you ought not and start to feel something is wrong or the words don’t seem to make any sense to you, they’re probably not something God wants you to be involved in. That has literally happened to me numerous times to the point that when someone might be trying to argue a point they have “learned about the Bible” from someone’s opinion or false doctrine I cannot understand or physically read it. This has especially happened when God has already told me to leave a certain subject alone and I can’t seem to. I get caught up in the arguments and trying to prove a point. God has actually caused me to physically not be able to read what someone else has responded to or posted, or has disallowed me to understand what they’re even trying to say. After that I realize that I need to give it up and move on, it doesn’t matter and it’s only distracting me from what God actually wants me to be doing. I’m incredibly grateful that He will let me know when I need to give something a rest or leave it alone all together, but I also usually end up feeling pretty childish when I can’t seem to move on and keep at it. When it comes to the point of him having to physically block me from it so I’ll leave it alone.

Anyway, there’s a lot of debate out there about the Catholics and the Jews keeping or taking away the Apocrypha from their doctrines. I for one may read it someday but for now I could care less. God is already teaching me what it is I need to learn as I walk with Him and unless he tells me specifically to read something from one of those books, I will read them more like a diary or just a story of someone who once lived. I will not take them to heart as the Word of God. I will admit that when I heard the book of Enoch spoke of spirits and dealing with the spiritual realm I was interested, especially being something that I have been somewhat dealing with for the last few months. But again God has constantly taken away that curiosity, which is something I would normally have looked into already, and I honestly keep forgetting about it altogether. If he really wanted me to read that right now, as means to help educate myself on any matters, then He would have pushed me to it. Since he hasn’t done this I’m not going to worry about it.

I was planning on writing about something completely different from this but this happened to be what came out.
The end.


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