Sometimes I ask myself that while I can’t really hear from the Lord right now, for multiple reasons, if it’s wrong of me to have others ask Him things for me to get an answer. Sometimes I feel guilty about this as if I’m not “having faith” because I’m having them ask a question instead of waiting around for my answer. I don’t necessarily believe that it’s wrong to do that, depending on the question. What comes to mind are the multitudes of people who asked someone else to inquire to the Lord about an issue. I could post verses from the Old Testament about it but there might be too many to list.
It’s not as if my questions are constant or things that I’ve agreed with Him to have faith on, they’re usually along the lines of feeling off and being unsure why. Things that need to be resolved sooner than later and I need help with them. Let’s face it, some of this stuff we don’t have clues on what to do or how to go about fixing them, especially if we can’t figure out the real problem to begin with.
Anyway, I figured out that there was a slight miscommunication in what I posted about previously. It wasn’t a matter of waiting for it to be revealed but a “ask me tomorrow” situation. Either way it was revealed so I guess that part isn’t actually important. That’s be sides the point as I now at least know what the issue is.
I have some things from my past, habits in my life, issues with ways of thinking, etc etc.. these need to be fixed before He can truly start to work on me. There are things that need to be healed, things need to be removed or gotten over, things that need to be changed.. Of course I can’t think of them exactly for the life of me. I try and my mind just goes blank. It’s a strange situation to try to think of things that bother you or are hurtful in you and have your mind go blank. It’s like being aware of the emotions while not feeling them.
Anyway, He’s going to help me with that. He asked if He wanted me to acknowledge the issues on my own of have Him bring them up. I know this is not going to be an easy process either way. Considering I’m having issues fully figuring out what the full cause is of things that bother me (a lot of it from my past) I asked for Him to be the one to bring them up. I am incredibly grateful to have help with this as I had no idea what to start (still don’t). I know it will take time and it will not be fun by any means.. but if it will move me forward and I’ll be able to eventually hear from him again.. it’s worth it.
If we’re not careful our desperation can lead to a loss of hope. That’s the path I was slowly heading down coupled with feeling completely alone.
I will be glad to let a lot of things go though at the same time they’re the kind of things I cringe at (if it’s what I’m thinking we will be working on). The kind of things from my past that I hate to remember and always try to avoid. I’m not sure if those are some of the things that will be worked on or not. I guess those are more just regrets than true issues, I don’t know.
I guess for now I’ll just continue to label it all a work in progress. Isn’t that how most of us are our entire lives? Constantly growing and changing, learning new things, leaving the old behind.. When it comes to my spiritual life though, I will be glad to finally be complete in Him.