And it was good.
I took a break from the internet and my computer, which I still am barely on but maybe once a week now, and it was very refreshing. There were many things I needed to learn from the Lord and taking such an open interest online was hindering that. I’m thankful for the break and more thankful that I have learned and am able to share the growth of the Lord in my life.
One of the harder things for me during my course of healing (which is on going over time) was the healing of my abandonment issues. I’ve had them for as long as I could remember, mostly dealing with lack in relationships, and they hindered me not only with relationships I still have today but especially with the Lord.
When going through this healing process I was very angry at the Lord for even bringing it up. At the time I also did not understand the way that the Lord communicates to me currently and the way that He wishes to speak to me. I was flooded with anger and hurt from some of my deepest wounds. I was angry at the Lord for bringing it up while at the same time not being able to hear from him more audibly. I felt as though it was all brought up and all I could think was, “How dare you bring this up and leave me with it!”
But he didn’t leave me with it. I could perceive Him above me, with his loving presence. He had not left me. What I learned is that although he had brought up all the deep emotions and thoughts regarding this area, He was still right there.
He did not leave me. He did not forsake me. Although I was going through ALL of the emotions and thoughts from this wound that has plagued my life over the years since childhood, HE was still right there.
I am so thankful to my Lord and Savior, Jesus, for this. Since that day I have not had any issues with feeling abandoned or even fear of it. I am completely healed of it and all of the glory goes to Christ. It wasn’t even until months later that I finally realized I was completely healed of it and have not had any issues with it since!
For those who have gone through and continue to go through feelings abandonment there is One who will never abandon you or forsake you. Even during times when you may doubt or feel the Lord is not there, remember that He is always faithful and true and it is our minds and hearts that are weak. He’s always there. He can and will heal you too when He calls you to it. Don’t be afraid and let the emotions run their course while you call on Him for help with it. Sometimes you have to go through the pain to get true relief when it comes to healing.