Crochet Doll: Army Guy

I had been thinking about trying to make a doll with a flat top for some reason, unknown to me at the time. When I finally started working on it I was getting the impression I was going to be making an army doll. First the imagery started with the combat boots, camouflage shorts (which I made as pants instead) and a gray t-shirt. I later added the jacket and a backpack (which holds the “Emergency Med Kit” containing spare yarn just in case).
Took me a while to finish the hair, mostly because the Lord was leading me on how to do it and I kind of avoided it for a little while. I finally sat down and started embroidering the sides to give it more of a hair-standing-up-flat-top kind of feel. Should have listened and obeyed the Lord on it in the first place!
This doll will be going to a veteran that stays at the nursing home. I do not know his name and barely remember what he looks like other than seeing him in a wheelchair and always wearing a veteran cap (unless he’s eating, in which case it’s sitting on the table next to him). We haven’t seen him around as much lately so I hope that me being disobedient about parts of the doll didn’t cause us the opportunity to give it to him. I’m sure it will work out and I’m just waiting on timing. I hope he likes it and doesn’t find it too odd that some random person made a doll for him just because God told her to!

Here are the photos. They’re not great but they’ll do.
Crochet army doll 01 Crochet army doll 05 Crochet army doll 02-horz

Crochet army doll 06
UPDATE 10/28/15
Before delivering this doll to the man at the nursing home I had a feeling I should name the doll ‘Henry’ or “Herold.’ It turns out that the man’s name is Henry. I was very excited that the Lord shared that with me!


Discernment, or ‘How does the Lord speak to you?’

How DOES the Lord speak to you? Is it audible? In small whispers? Visually? Through dreams? Smells? Feelings?

I’m sure I’ve mentioned on and off how I felt that as soon as I was starting to hear from the Lord suddenly felt the communication was cut. And it was to one extent, but not to others.
At the time I didn’t fully understand how the Lord wanted to speak to me, I only knew that I was angry and slightly bitter that He spoke to others more audibly and clearly and I felt that I was constantly left in the dark.

I was and I wasn’t in the dark.
I was in the dark in some ways because he needed me to grow in him more and walk with him more on the path he has chosen for me. Being in the dark was more due to my lack of understanding of that at the time. On the other hand, I wasn’t in the dark because he was still with me and I just had to learn how he wants me to hear from him, which takes time and patience, something I lack far too often.
I’ve known for a while that the Lord has given me the gift of discernment, especially when it comes to feeling, perceiving, seeing (in mind or in spirit, I’m not sure), and even smelling demons or their presence. For some reason it took me months to make the connection that I DISCERN when I hear from the Lord! Oh my folly and my foolishness. If anyone knows how to make me feel like a bonehead, it’s me. It took someone else actually telling me “that’s discernment” when I was talking about how the Lord speaks to me for me to get it.

Now I do not believe the Lord will only communicate to someone in ONE particular way, He’s too awesome and His ways are too vast for that. I’ve had dreams and I’ve had visions. I’ve seen the flash of angels leaving (they’re very bright and VERY fast. Unfortunately I didn’t have a good look at them, though I still want to see them more clearly). I’ve felt the Lord above me and beside me. I’ve felt God’s right hand, which was actually very frightening and full of indescribable power. I’ve felt the presence of angels being close and guarding areas I’ve prayed for. He speaks through scripture. He’s speaks through songs and through memories.
God speaks to all of us in many different ways when we are seeking Him. If you unsure how God speaks to you just keep seeking him. Dig into the Word (the Bible), spend some quality time talking to Him with as little distraction as possible, stop doubting yourself and push through. I’ve been there. You have to keep fighting for it and open yourself up to Him. The more you push the more He will see that you’re serious and willing, not easy to give up. And when you fall (which is not a question of IF you will fall because we all do) remember He is still there ready and willing to pick you up.

I was just reminded of this scripture, it’s of the disciples on the boat in the sea when Jesus was walking on water to meet them.
But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.  (How often are we afraid when the Lord shows us something we’re not used to!)
And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. (that takes faith!)
But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. (Here comes the doubt.)
And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

That verse always gets me, “And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him,”
How often are we called by the Lord and we turn and look around us and fear creeps in to cause us to sink? Yet He is always faithful and true. He’s always right there to catch you if you slip and if you fall. I’ve always heard this growing up but until you start to go through it (and sometimes it can take more time than you might expect) you can’t fully appreciate it and understanding it. I would say a great question to ask when you find yourself with a lack of faith and doubting is, Why? Not WHAT are you doubting, but why? Regardless of knowing the answer or not, take it to Jesus. He will help you with it.

I thank the Lord for his lessons and his grace, with which we are saved. I hope and pray that maybe others can learn from the experiences (and mistakes) that I share and that they know that they are not alone with what they go through and what they may feel.
For those who do not yet know how the Lord speaks to them, remember that it takes time and you have to learn how to listen. Listening takes patience and time with the Lord. Don’t give up, especially after you fall, and keep up the good fight.


End of Churchianity

Ah! Was excited to see today that the documentary ‘End of Churchianity’ is now on YouTube for people to watch for free! I definitely recommend it to everyone, especially those discouraged about having an Acts church.

The End of Churchianity – DOCUMENTARY:

There are other testimonies I might leave links to in the comments later when I have my computer with me.

Casting out in His name/Faith and Fasting

And when he (Jesus Christ) came to his disciples, he saw a great multitude about them, and the scribes questioning with them.  (15)  And straightway all the people, when they beheld him, were greatly amazed, and running to him saluted him.  (16)  And he asked the scribes, What question ye with them?  (17)  And one of the multitude answered and said, Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a dumb spirit;  (18)  And wheresoever he taketh him, he teareth him: and he foameth, and gnasheth with his teeth, and pineth away: and I spake to thy disciples that they should cast him out; and they could not.  (19)  He answereth him, and saith, O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him unto me.  (20)  And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.  (21)  And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child.  (22)  And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.  (23)  Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.  (24)  And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.  (25)  When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him.  (26)  And the spirit cried, and rent him sore, and came out of him: and he was as one dead; insomuch that many said, He is dead.  (27)  But Jesus took him by the hand, and lifted him up; and he arose.  (28)  And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out?  (29)  And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting. – Mark 9:14-29

Often times that scripture will come to mind and I will consider what it says, typically the last two verses where the disciples ask Jesus why it was they could not cast out that demon and his response is, “This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.
There are many people out there that are teaching that the Word of God, the Scriptures, are not enough to fight against the devil. That they are not enough to charge the enemies minions, his demons, to leave us or others alone. I myself often use Luke 10:19 when I am praying over my house, my family, and my friends.
To say that the Word of God is meaningless in fighting against Satan and his armies is to say that the Bible, the actual words of God, are useless. That even Christ would be useless and powerless. Even Christ used the scriptures against Satan:

Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.  (2)  And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.  (3)  And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.  (4)  But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. [Deuteronomy 8:3] (5)  Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,  (6)  And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.  (7)  Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. [Deuteronomy 6:16] (8)  Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;  (9)  And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.  (10)  Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. [Deuteronomy 6:13-14] (11)  Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him. – Matthew 4:1-11

And did you notice that even Satan tried to use scripture against Jesus?
Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,  (6)  And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. [Psalms 91:11-12]

So why do people believe that the scriptures do not work against Satan and his minions? I think that most believe that when they use the Words of God, the Bible, that they expect some dramatic exit to happen right before their eyes while using verses. I think that due to a lot of the stigmas that Hollywood has put out we often think that our spiritual life will end up being much more dramatic than it may seem, which often leads to disbelief and a lack of faith.
If you’re expecting something dramatic to happen you are more likely to have a loss in faith when what you expect doesn’t play out right in front of your face.
Many times in the Bible it says that demons were cast out and even people were healed “In that very same hour.” That does not exactly say “at that very moment” or “right when the words were said.” It says in that time frame, not always in an instance. Just because there are moments where you don’t instantly feel something has changed around you does not mean that nothing is happening. I’ve been victim to that far too many times. I pray over something and because I don’t feel that anything is happening then I don’t feel that God is answering my prayers, that my faith is too weak (which I prove to myself that it is by giving up), or that I’m not worthy of being helped. Do you see how having such expectations, based off of worldly views of what we think should happen, can affect our faith? I’m not saying that everyone out there will go through those experiences, but I think it’s important to note that there are some out there that will lose their faith because they expect something to happen and if they do not get instant results they give up.

And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting. Mark 9:29
If Christ tells us that some demons, or I could even say most situations that we have genuine concern over, are not resolved but by fasting and prayer, what do you think that means? Does that mean we need to expect instant results and give up when we don’t see anything happening? Of course not! It means we need to have faith, to come to God through fasting and prayer, humbling ourselves before Him (James 4:10) (1 Peter 5:6) (2 Chronicles 34:27), bringing our prayers and supplications to Him (Philippians 4:6-7). He will hear our prayers and He will help us when we come to Him humbly seeking His help.

We typically understand prayer and speaking with God but what about fasting? How many of us today actually fast? How many think that it’s still important? How many Bible studies, churches, Christian leaders encourage it? I for one rarely heard anything about it growing up.

Tony Evans writes about fasting:
Jesus said that in His absence, fasting was to be a priority.
Matthew 9:15 for example, And Jesus said to them, “And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.”
That is, in Jesus’ absence fasting would be a way to make that connection with Him. Since you can’t go to Jesus right now and sit down with Him and have a verbal conversation face to face, God says there’s a special way you can make a spiritual link with Him when you need to, and He says “and they will fast.”
Fasting is a way to get through the gateway to God in the crises of life.
1.) In the bible, fasting occurred during the burdens of life that demanded a spiritual breakthrough; emotional burdens, relational burdens, circumstantial burdens, physical burdens, ministerial burdens, directional burdens or what have you.
Fasting is the deliberate abstinence of physical gratification to achieve a spiritual goal. It’s a denial of the flesh to gain a response from the Spirit.
It’s renouncing the natural to invoke the supernatural. It’s saying “no” to yourself in order to hear a “yes” from God.

When you eat, who do you eat for?
I can guarantee it’s for nobody but you. You do not eat with me in mind, and I don’t for you either. When I eat, I’m concerned for three people only; me, myself and I.
I become an obedient servant to myself. I even eat when I don’t need to eat.
But when you fast, God says that’s for Him because that’s when we get His attention. Food satisfies us, but fasting satisfies God.

(please note: I have not read all of Tony Evans views of the Bible or walking with God. I cannot say that I agree with all doctrine or opinions that may be listed in any of his writings, but I did think those made good points.)

Though I have a difficult time with the idea of fasting it is still something that I will need to work on with my relationship with Christ. In the last month or two I have had a couple of days of fasting (not consecutively, mind you) and I will admit that it was difficult for me. I have grown so accustomed to having food for not only comfort but for nourishment. But where is all of my spiritual nourishment coming from? Yes, I read my Bible and pray everyday, but am I really being spiritually filled just from that? I’m starting to find and realize, even while I write this, that during my physical days and weeks of repetitive mediocrity that I most likely am going through a spiritual state of the same. That I need to actually take the time to force myself to fully depend on the Lord and get back to that state of mind not only for my own faith’s sake, but for the sake of helping others.

I know I have gotten off on a tangent here, as I do quite often.. But I have realized some things through it.
I would like to say that I already knew and understood that during times of trials, temptations, or even harassment by the minions of Satan we need to stay in our faith and keep in mind that our prayers will not always be answered in the blink of an eye. (On another note, we need to keep in mind that sometimes we might have to have multiple people pray for us or with us on such things instead of trying to do it all solo.)
Another thing is that in order for our authority to be placed we have to be where we need to be in our faith. We can’t be wishy-washy asking for help and then assuming it doesn’t come if it’s not immediate, causing us to lose faith.

For those of us who are struggling out there in our faith, that might have things that we fear God will never answer despite how much we beg and plead, we might need to really consider giving things up that WE need in order for Him to know we’re serious. That we are truly going to depend on Him and we need to leave these situations in His hand knowing that if we truly are following Him, He will help us. He will help those who seek Him with an earnest heart.

But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the LORD thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; – Deuteronomy 4:29-30

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. – Matthew 6:33

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. – Mark 12:30

Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually. – 1 Chronicles 16:11

When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. – Psalms 27:8

How long will you be among them?

For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly. (Deuteronomy 7:4)

For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears. (Acts 20:29-31)

Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple. For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. (Romans 16:17-19)

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry. (2 Timothy 4:2-5)

I am fully aware lately to the truth of seeing those around me, whom I love, falling prey to false doctrine. I ask myself quite often questions concerning this mentality that those around us have attained concerning such false doctrines. The “let’s agree to disagree” theology that has made its way into Christian homes everywhere.
Feel that you’re being lead in a different direction? Fine, but let’s test the spirits of those directions and find the truth.
Feel that it’s okay and we should be loving and accepting of our brothers and sisters who live in sin?

But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.  (12)  For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?  (13)  But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person. (1 Corinthians 5:11-13)

Sometimes when I think about the church, the supposed body of Christ, I feel sorrowful. I don’t know how much of what I feel or what I “see” in regards to it all is speculation on my own part of a view-point from God. I find it incredibly sad that in this day and age one might be more skeptical of a church actually following God than assuming they are not.
I can’t walk into a “Christian” bookstore without seeing false doctrine spilling off the shelves all the while Christians are lining up with money from their pockets to purchase these “best sellers” and words of those who have no real intention of glorifying God.
You can’t walk around in a store without seeing them push all the holidays that we’re not even supposed to celebrate. We’re constantly told to come OUT from the world yet we accept everything they sell in stores and play it off as not being a big deal. What we’re actually doing is disobeying God and downplaying it because we want to be entertained and have the same enjoyment as the rest of the world. That’s not what our Bible teaches us. That’s not what God has been teaching us.
I’m sure I’ve ranted about this before and I will continue to do so. I am incredibly thankful that God has opened my eyes and I pray that he not only continues to do so but will open the eyes of many others in the world.
My heart breaks at the things that I’m shown and I will be glad to be removed and help those that He has told me we will be helping. I do not know what all my future holds but if it has anything with being able to glorify God and bring others closer to Him, I want it more than ever.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?  (15)  And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?  (16)  And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.  (17)  Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, (2 Corinthians 6:14-17)

In the past I used to think that verse 14 was talking about marrying non-believers, as that is how it was taught to me growing up. Now I realize more that it means not to belong one to another. Not to allow them to effect your lives and lifestyle in a way that it separates you from the Lord. Does that mean that we cannot even talk to them? No, how would we witness? Just don’t allow the lifestyle of the world to corrupt what God has given you.

Keeps coming back up

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.  (Ephesians 3:20-21)

I wrote a post awhile back speaking about the way that we minister and witness to others. It has been coming up in my mind on and off over the last couple of days and I’m really not sure why. I kept thinking that I had written about it in a way that I need to go back and correct myself but upon reading it just now I realize that I wasn’t really saying what I thought I was (in the last couple of days).
I thought I had written something along the lines of the way a lot of churches teach in the “you witness to others by living by example” which I do agree with, but that is not actually how you witness to others.
Let’s actually look at the definition of the word

wit•ness (wĭtˈnĭs)
n.    One who can give a firsthand account of something seen, heard, or experienced: a witness to the accident.
n.    One who furnishes evidence.
n.    Something that serves as evidence; a sign.

Now after reading that, can you say that keeping quiet about your personal relationship with the Lord and just “living by example” we are being a true witness? Are we giving out testimony and speaking about the wonders God is doing in everyone’s lives? In our own lives? Speaking about His Son and the miracles that are still going on even unto this day?
Although it’s good to be able to live by example I’d say that most of us are not actually witnessing.
Since that is being taught in a lot of churches (I heard it a lot in the youth group I went to growing up) I want to point out the way that Christians (who are living their lives “by example”) look like to a secular world; they look snotty and prude. They do not look like people who see the world, understand it, live in it, know how to even react to it. They look like they’re living in their own little bubble and anything that comes their way from “the world” they turn their nose up to and back up slowly. It’s almost as if they’re germaphobes and the world is the grime.
Now, granted, the world is pretty bad. It’s grimy and gritty; fully of sin. BUT we are called to live in the world to help those who are stuck in it NOT to live in a bubble; in the safety of our church. I’m not saying that all churches just expect everyone to always stay within and never help anyone else but from first-hand experience I can tell you that some of the ones I’ve been in (and grown up in) seem keep from encouraging others to do what we’re told to be doing in the Bible. I see a lot of people that wouldn’t know what to do without a pastor/preacher telling them what to do. People are lazy and they don’t want to have to think for themselves. If they have someone that will tell them what to do, think, say, or feel then they’re gong to get overly protective of that person and really who is there to tell us those things other than God? I’m not saying that all pastors or preachers are corrupt either, my uncle is a pastor, I’m saying that people need to wake up and learn to think for themselves. To ask what God would want THEM to do, as an individual. Pastors are very busy people, do you really think they they have you specifically in mind when they speak about what to do in life? Could it not be that they have to speak their messages to fit a mass amount of people? If we’re not seeking it for ourselves then we will never find it. No one is going to do our work for us.

I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. (John 17:15-21)

Christ asked for us to not be taken out of the world but kept away from evil. To not be removed but to be left as a witness for His Glory and Love. Are we doing that by spending our time in church and never working towards His ministry? Are we able to share the love of Christ with others by avoiding the non-believers because they are “of the world?”
People say the world can be a scary place. I say that it’s never venturing into it that’s the scary part.
I’m not saying we should all go to parks and try to talk to everyone about Christ, because it doesn’t always work that way. I’m saying we need to be more in tune with being open to doing things and going places that are in the world. We can’t hide ourselves up in little holes hoping that we’re doing it right just by reading and praying everyday; that’s not what we’re called for.
We’re called to be a witness

wit•ness (wĭtˈnĭs)
n.    One who can give a firsthand account of something seen, heard, or experienced: a witness to the accident.
n.    One who furnishes evidence.
n.    Something that serves as evidence; a sign.

A Skeptical Christian

Why is it, that when it comes to questioning things that are said to be “Christian” I am constantly blown off and almost scolded by my questions? When I bring something up that questions the very nature of someone’s thought process on something “Christian” I am treated as if I am just trying to be negative.
Well let’s be real for a moment and actually admit that not everything we see or read that says it has God and Jesus’ best interest in mind is actually honest. Are we not told to test the spirits?

1 John 4:1-3
Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

Yet constantly, whenever someone questions the intentions behind someone’s “spiritual” writings or testimonies, when concerning Christ, we are treated as if we need to “stop being so negative.” As if we’re just out to cause problems, to disrupt, and to offend. I don’t even know what we’d be disrupting. Their false  truth?
Either way, it can really wear on a person, like myself, who is constantly looking into the backgrounds of those in the world that are “teaching” others about the “truth.” If I’m going to take the time to sit and listen to someone spread some “news” and “truth” about a subject then I am going to do the research and pray about these matters to see if I agree with what they’re teaching. I’m going to question it.
Not everyone out there that claims to be a Christian is a Christian. Not everyone that teaches or writes “Christian” books are actually writing to help further Christ’s ministry.
Christians have become so content with accepting everything “Christian” around them as the God-given truth when in reality we need to be taking the truth (The Bible) and comparing what they’re saying. Christians have become so docile in thinking that if it says it’s Christian, or comes from a “Christian owned establishment” then it MUST be something that Christ would want us to read, watch, or listen to. In reality, we need to be asking ourselves IF Christ would want us to even mess with most of the things that are out there. Do people honestly not realize that even people who claim to be Christians will still do almost anything just to make a buck?
When did Christianity become so passive in the aspect of “needing to accept everyone” and basically shunning those who speak about coming away from them?
God speaks constantly in the Bible to come away from the world. Christ taught that we are not of this world, and although we have to live in it for now, we are not to actually live in it as others do.

Now as far as people just taking the word of something claiming it’s Christian, I have been guilty of that in the past. I myself have disregarded testing things to see if they truly are Christ-like. I have also learned my lesson in believing most things that claim one thing while teach another. It’s very easy to be fooled by those teaching falsely about Christ and it is very, very important that we test what we hear, see, and read. We weren’t warned about this as a joke. We weren’t told to “test most of the spirits, but anything saying they’re for Christ is okay.”
What we need to realize, and this is the truth, is that the more we are allowing ourselves to live in the world and be a part of what the world does (either through music, TV, movies, mainstream social medias, etc etc) the more we are becoming a part of the world. We are becoming what Christ told us to stay away from. He calls us to Him, to come OUT from the world and be separate. I honestly can’t tell the difference between most modern-day Christians and those with the values of paganism.

Christ says,
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
(Mat 7:15-23)

That applies for believers as well. Are you bringing forth good fruit? Are you hiding your light under a bushel so the world cannot see it? Does that mean I think everyone needs to run out the door and preach? I wish they would, but even at this time God calls us all in different ways and not all of them will be to do such things.

When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
(Mat 25:31-46)

Tell me where it says that those who accept Christ and then go back into the world to live the way they want will have eternal life? Yes, if we accept Christ we are His, but does it say that that’s all we need to do? It says the righteous will have life eternal (Mat 25:46). Do you really know Christ? Does He really know you? Ask yourself these things and see where you land.

I know I’ve gotten off on some crazy tangents in this post, but these are subjects of things that have been frustrating me for some time. I am incredibly thankful that God has granted me to see (what little I’ve seen compared to how bad it really is) the corrupt in this world, the corruption in most churches, the corruption in the modern-day Christianity. People are teaching falsely and watered down scriptures to everyone to the extent that they are still encouraged to go and be a part of the world; to partake in what the world does. And they tell them that it’s okay because it might lead more to Christ! In reality, it dulls down our senses and causes us to think that it’s okay to live the way the world does. How are others supposed to see the difference Christ brings in our lives if we live the same way that they do?
Wake up, people! It’s time to move forward and be real with ourselves! Christ is King and all of us will be judged. Think about the way we’re all living now and tell me if you honestly believe that it’s how it’s supposed to be. If that’s how the disciples, and even Christ, tried to teach us to live.
Do you believe that if Jesus walked through your door right now He would choose you to go speak to the world about His ministry? Are we even worthy? No, we will never be worthy on our own accord. We are worthy only through the blood of Christ, and I for one want to stand up and tell you that I am not of this world and I am a skeptical Christian.

Ram’s head and a crystal

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had a great day with Brandon while he was over. We talked about God’s plans for us, what we had been reading about or learning from the Bible so far, went to some stores, and just had a good time.
The evening started to feel a little strange to me as the night came on when we had gone to eat with my parents. I found myself impatient and wanting to hurry to eat so we could leave. I’ve also found myself very impatient in regards to my mom lately, which bothers me, and though I have some theories it feels like there’s something more bothering me than just one the surface.
After Brandon had left I was planning on reading my Bible. I found myself distracted by going to smoke, then deciding to start my laundry, then went ahead and took a shower. It was like I was delaying myself from reading and I recognized it and was trying to hurry to get my things done. I felt guilty for doing so and felt it all hindering me.
After that I started to read some but felt really off, distracted, unable to really focus on what I was reading. I kept thinking about praying and felt as if I was telling myself I didn’t need to do that. That I didn’t want to talk to him. I know how important it is to talk to him and I usually end up doing it most of the time, so that was unusual and disturbed me.
When Brandon got home he got online and started talking to me. He had been feeling kind of bummed out about how things are currently, us having to wait for our happiness together, which is understandable. He was telling me about how him and God had talked the whole way home about everything and had conversations together. He told me that God told him some things that he felt was to cheer him up, in regards to our future children (Caleb, Abigail, and Rachel: some of the names we had discussed that we liked). I guess they talked about a multitude of things while he was driving around.
I was still feeling kind of off, almost a little down and upset, couldn’t focus, felt distracted by everything, and felt like I was trying to tell myself I didn’t want to bother talking with God (which bothered me most out of everything). I started feeling a little uncomfortable.
I discussed this with Brandon and the issues I’ve had in feeling sensitive that I haven’t been able to hear the Lord myself lately started stirring up again.  I started to cry. Uncontrollable tears streaming down my face. I felt guilty and I wasn’t even sure why.
Brandon prayed about it and told me that I need to get rid of the porcelain ram’s head that was in my room. I had this for quite a while, since I first started living with my now ex-husband. He had told me recently it was bothering him a little and I was planning on trying to sell it to get rid of it.
Brandon told me that there was something that was hindering me from being able to hear Him. As if the enemy had a bubble of silence around me. He said he got the imagery of someone in a long, brown coat kicking down the door and pulling a dark shadow out of the ram’s head, being angry that things were there. I was apparently at my desk in this vision and was hunched over my desk, not even noticing that the door to my bedroom had been kicked in.
After that I took the ram’s head out of the house and threw it in the trashcan outside. (I broke part of it with a mallet this morning on my way out. It was too late to be busting up a thick piece like that in the middle of the night.)
After that was over I was feeling uncomfortable. I came inside the house through the garage and was feeling a little better. I came through the entry way through the game room to the living room (where I had one of the only lights on as all the living room lights were already off), and as I turned the light off I could have sworn I heard a sound my mom makes when she’s clearing her throat as if she was in the living room where I couldn’t see her in the dark. I remembered Ivy might have been asleep in there but I remember distinctly hearing the sound as if my mom had made it. I didn’t turn to look and just continued to my room and closed both the doors that lead in.. and locked them (I was that uncomfortable).

I explained to Brandon that I still felt uncomfortable and kept feeling like someone was going to sneak up on me. I felt like something was in my bathroom (which opens up to my room) just watching me, making me uncomfortable. I kept wanting to turn around to make sure no one else was behind me. I kept picturing it being the man in the brown coat (which I had also seen in a previous vision, slightly, but it was too fuzzy and I lost it).
Brandon started praying and asking about it and said he pictured a hand coming in and strangling one of them in my bathroom, and then the house being completely flooded as it drowned the other, causing it to fade away.
I had also been praying that they would leave me alone, that if it was the Lord’s presence near me (which I didn’t feel it) that he wouldn’t scare me.. I was afraid of what I was feeling.
After Brandon had prayed about it and told me what he had seen I felt better. My bathroom no longer felt uncomfortable and creepy and I wasn’t worried about someone coming up behind me.
I’m still having trouble getting started today and still feel distracted. I don’t really know what’s going on.

There are still things in my house that I pray we will be able to find the cause of it to remove them and not allow them back in. I know of one item that popped into my head this last week and felt compelled about, it’s something my mom owns that I haven’t been able to find on my own but I know it needs to go. She can’t remember where it is as she said it’s no longer where she put it. It could have easily been that she moved it and forgot or for some reason wasn’t fully sure she wanted to get rid of it.. I’m not sure.
I’m worried about her and the way things have been this week. She’s been feeling sick a lot and has hardly had any energy. I think she left the house maybe two or three times total since Friday of last week.
I worry that if something is causing the effects of how she’s been feeling that she’ll just continually think she needs to go the doctors and I really don’t like her going to her chiropractor all the time. Her chiropractor is the one that sold her the item that needs to go. Pray I can find it. It’s kind of hard to look for it when she’s home all the time.

I’m not feeling well today myself. Mostly mentally or emotionally, I feel kind of blocked. I hope it fades. Brandon wonders if me getting rid of the ram’s head was kind of stirring up the hornet’s nest. Could be.. I just hope whatever comes of it doesn’t hinder me from learning and moving forward.

Frantic thoughts in motion

This morning I awoke and started my day getting ready to head to Brandon’s house. I was driving down Central Expressway and praying as I went. I felt as though my mind was just all over the place, almost scrambling to make sense of anything. It was as if someone had fed a child espresso and Pixy Stix and put them in my brain in charge of the input/output of my thoughts.

I started praying about this and had wondered if my busy, “gotta hurry and go” frantic attitude before leaving was the cause of this, as it is a common thing on Saturday mornings for me. I rush around getting ready to go to Brandon’s, packing up whatever books I may take, Nixon’s dog food, making sure I have everything else I need, get some caffeine from my store, and usually have to put gas in my car. After all the rushing around I’m usually still stuck in that frantic, scrambling around mode.
I was praying at the time when I realized how I was feeling and couldn’t seem to calm myself down. I started to pray that if there were anything around me causing this (demonic in nature, as they like to effect my mood or thoughts at times) that the Lord would take it away from me. That they would have no spiritual, mental, or physical effect on me today so I could focus on reading my Bible and talking with Him. I am well aware that the way I begin my mornings can lead my mind to be this way, so I wasn’t willing to chalk it up to some sort of spiritual warfare or attack. I can get myself worked up just as much as anything else can, which is common with anyone.

As I was praying this I started to pass a large truck, two lanes over, which had an ad for whatever company they belonged to. It had a man and a woman standing close to each other and the words, “No one is near you” written in very large print above the couple. I did a slight double take in reading this and the immediate response in my head was, “Okay.” I didn’t bother to look at this truck again to try to figure out if that’s what it really said or just what I happened to see (I was exiting to take a different highway by this time anyway). I didn’t bother trying to find out what kind of company this truck was for either. I just took it as a sign of my prayers in wondering why I was feeling so frantic this morning, that I was causing it myself and nothing in the spiritual realm was effecting me, and moved on.