Writing it out

I’ve felt nudged on and off to start writing again over the last few months. I stopped for awhile after going through a difficult time with some things I learned about my past that I was unaware of. I used to use writing as a way to express and vent my life’s situations and it did always seem to help. 

The Lord has used writing as a means to help on a path of healing for me as well. The more I wrote the more came to mind and the more I felt better getting things off my chest. 

It has not always been easy. The Lord had me write about my feelings of abandonment a few years ago. That was a hard topic to get out along with all the pent up emotions and hurt I’ve felt because of it; but what He showed me will always stick with me. He showed me that despite all the tears and pain I was going through He never left me. I could still feel His presence as my hands flew over the keyboard of my computer in a rage that the topic even had come up. I know there were plenty of ‘how dare you’s in there directed at Him because of bringing up that topic up… But He never left me. Through it I knew, in my heart, that He wouldn’t leave me. Even if I don’t always feel Him there He’s still there.

You always hear it from Christians and He said the same in the Bible; but it’s different truly experiencing that than just hearing it most of your life from people regurgitating the same thing over and over with that glossy look in their eyes that tells you they don’t understand what you’re going through.

With what I learned about my past I struggled greatly with writing. Fear came into play and I know the devil has had a field day with discouraging me from writing anything again.

After a while I didn’t know if the Lord even wanted me to write anymore. I felt for a season to wait. Things around here got busy and I would pray for the time to if that’s what He wanted but it didn’t slow down. I’m sure that was part of the plan. You can’t always spend every moment focusing on one thing because there’s a lot that still needs to be done…everywhere.

After awhile I would end up asking the Lord over and over if He wanted me to write and always felt He did but then I could never find a topic. I never had the words and finally told Him that He’d have to lead on that. This is all for Him anyway, to use as He sees fit (even if it’s somehow through my ramblings).

I realized today that the healing I was going through has slowed down and I know that’s because I haven’t been getting anything out. I’ve been stuck in the daily life routine of getting up, taking care of the rabbits, taking care of the dogs, running errands, laundry, food, sleep, etc etc. Rinse, repeat. 

I didn’t know why things had slowed down so much but I think I see it now. 

With all that being said, I want to encourage anyone who is struggling with their own path. If you feel stuck, stop and take a look at what’s missing. Don’t give up on the things that help even if you have some bumps in the road. Take a season off if you have to but do it for the right reasons. I used to pray for the time for when He wanted me to write and things are just now slowing down. I guess we’ll see how it all goes from here.

Switching Direction

I’ve been thinking lately, as it has been coming to my attention more (again), how I need to change my direction. With all that happens around you it’s so easy to get distracted with the phenomenons of the spiritual realm. It’s been too much of a distraction lately, which I suppose is what they want to happen, and I need to keep my focus on God.
He needs to be my main focus. Yes, I’m sure it’s fine if I look into some of the things I’ve been researching with others, which regards Christianity and the church today and the influences that the enemy has had in it all, but I don’t need to focus on what they’re trying to do. Their goal is to distract us; to keep us from growing and unable to help others around us.
If things happen around me and others I know, so what? Yes, it’s kind of fascinating in a way because it’s something that we’re not used to. The “unknown” and the “unseen” will always be somewhat intriguing to us, but God will stay just as unknown to us if we allow that focus to shift. Besides, He has more to share with us and show us than they ever will. He’s the one with the true power and the one in control.
We need to stop being so interested and intrigued by the creations and start being interested and intrigued by the Creator.
Lately that’s been a struggle for me. It’s been difficult to not focus on what’s going on around you especially when you don’t understand it. My biggest problem, at times, is that I want to understand the things that I may never understand. I want to know the “why” and “reason” behind it all and make it a lot more than it really is. It’s pretty simple when you step back and look at it. They want to distract us.
It’s a lot easier said than done at times, especially when those you love are effected as well and there’s not a whole lot you can physically do about it. All you can do it pray. Pray their eyes will be opened to the truth and they will be set free of what’s holding them back. In the process you have to ask God to free you as well and try not to get so tangled up in all of it.
When the enemy casts a net try to remember to be still so you do not make it worse; wait for God to untangle you and get you out of it.
That’s what I need to remember. Be praying that things will change and they will be for the good of His Kingdom.

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
John 8:36